The Wild, Wild West
by edlovesjuicyfruit73
Summary: Yee haw! Here we go again with another Trauma Center western! Markus and friends have been sent to the countryside on a mission, but that isn't the hard part. The hard part will be adapting to life in the Wild, Wild West! Can they do it? Let's find out!
1. Into the West

**A/N: Let's start by disclaiming this bad boy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Trauma Center, the names, places, or characters, they belong to their copyright owner Atlus. This is for entertainment purposes only! Yeah! **

**A/N: Ahem, anyway, this is a humorous story (there is no predicted length yet) that will have certain OC's here and there, so be aware of that. Not much more to say quite yet, but this was inspired again by other fics, my crazy mind, and as a partner to my Stigma Rodeo! So... This should be quite interesting if I do say so myself. If ya'll want to do some Trauma Center westerns, you go right ahead. It's not like I made it up, I just thought of it. And I apologize TCGeek... No ass-less chaps for Derek. He shall make an appearance though. OKAY! Let's get this rollin'.**

"I swear, I am psychic, Val!" yelled Markus.

"Psychotic, maybe. You have dreams about Stigma all the time, it's not like it was a sign or something," Valerie replied, sighing. "So we just so happened to be assigned a job in the countryside, big deal."

"It's not just a coincidence, Val; I seriously think they're linked. I _just_ have a dream about the west, and now we're being sent there? Weird if you ask me," Markus interjected.

"Either way, it'll be nice to get out of the musty building," Elena chimed in.

And so began the most awkward mission they would ever be sent on. Markus Vaughn, Valerie Blaylock, and Elena Salazar were about to be flipped upside down from their bustling city life to a life full of chaos as they adjust to living in the Wild West!

OooooooO

The three got off their plane, immediately adapting to the new climate. It was very... peaceful. It was a strange and glorious new environment that was thriving with life. It was spring, warm and calm.

"We have to stay here for a few weeks _just_ to investigate why they're coming down with intense fevers? That seems a little extreme," whined Markus.

"Extreme, perhaps, but it's our job whether it's reasonable or not," Valerie said.

The plane that contained the other members of this investigation landed shortly after, letting off Sidney Kasal, Derek Stiles, Victor Niguel, Cybil Myers, and Tyler Chase. The one who had formed the team had gathered up the best medical personnel around for the job. It seemed simple now, but it could prove to be worse than they expected. They had to be prepared with a team ready for anything.

"Nice to see you all again!" Derek yelled, waving to the three. They all waved back; greeting the doctor they'd met not too long ago.

"It's a pleasure to see you again, too. Where's Angie?" Elena asked, soon realizing that she wasn't present.

"Oh, it's a long story..." Derek replied with a long sigh.

"_Well, why not?" he asked her. _

"_Because I don't like cowboys, they're pigs and they can't talk right! I'm sorry, but you'll have to count me out of this," Angie answered scornfully. _

"_You're going to miss out on a lot of fun, Angie!" he called after her. _

"_Will not! I'm fine here in Japan!" she retorted. _

That was the end of it. She refused to come, and Derek could not convince her otherwise. Even at 31, she was still as stubborn as always.

"Mind introducing us to everyone?" Valerie asked politely.

"Oh, of course." Derek then introduced his former team to the three, who politely introduced themselves as well. Everyone seemed glad to be there except Victor, who was apparently upset that he was pulled from his job in LA. Reunions were always nice, since he hadn't seen Dr. Stiles in a while, but he was still sour that he had to cooperate with a bunch of "red-necks" as he rudely called them.

"Well, we better get a move on," Sidney stated, walking towards the small town ahead.

OooooooO

John Black's farm covered a vast distance, each blade of grass on his property finely tended to. He raised a large family consisting of his wife and four sons, along with their zoo of farm animals. Their neighbors had been the ones to come down with the sky-rocketing fevers, and since the team obviously couldn't stay there at risk of becoming ill, they would be staying at the Blacks'.

John greeted them at the gate as they approached, a huge smile on his face.

"Howdy," he said, shaking their hands as they introduced themselves. "Welcome to the Black farm, I hope ya'll'll like your stay alright!" John wore overalls and basically appeared how a farmer was expected to look. His hair, along with the rest of his family, was brown and was worn short. His eyes were deep blue, though that differentiated him from his family. Their eyes were all brown, taking after his wives dominant trait of brown eyes.

"Nice to meet ya'll," greeted Betty-Lou, John's wife. Her hair was pulled back in a long braid. She wore a dress, also appearing how a farm-wife would. The whole family looked like they'd jumped off the TV screen from an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

"Betty-Lou? There was a woman named Betty-Lou in my dream..." Markus recalled.

"Markus, just drop it already!" Valerie shouted, becoming slightly irritated.

"Oh, let me introduce ya to my boys. This here's Travis, his twin Terry, this is Ben, my oldest boy, and this is Forrest," John said, showing off his sons to the group. Travis and Trent were identical twins, ages 15. Forrest was 16, soon to be 17, and Ben was 19. They all wore cowboy hats and jeans, unlike their father who wore overalls. They were a little more fashionable than their parents.

"Howdy," the boys said in unison.

After everyone got to know each other, Betty-Lou showed the group around the house, showing them where they would be sleeping etc. It was a lovely house, a decent size too. There were enough rooms to cozily fit each gender group in. The guest rooms were spacious and each had gorgeous views of the sunset, according to Betty-Lou. The women marveled at this, eager to see the sight when the time came, while the men couldn't have cared less. They were all business, while the women intended on having a good time _while_ doing their job.

"Go ahead and unpack your things then come on downstairs. John said he wanted to show ya'll around the barn and stuff," Betty-Lou said.

The women went into their room and unpacked their things and the men did the same, only not as maturely or quickly.

"Heh!" Tyler giggled, shoving Victor as he leaned over to unpack his things.

"Ah, damnit, Chase!" Victor growled, shaking a fist at him. Though they were in their late 30's, they still acted like kindergarteners.

Sidney sighed, shaking his head. _I'm going to be stuck with them for almost 2 whole weeks..._

"C'mon you guys," Derek said quietly.

"Tell idiot over here to quit pushing me," Victor mumbled, shooting an angry glare Tyler's way.

"Man, you boys sure take a long time to unpack," John remarked, leaning in the doorway. "The ladies finished a while ago. I already showed 'em the barn and everythin'."

"Oh, uh, that's okay, you can show us later," Sidney said, thanking him.

"Alright. Well, ya'll wash up for supper. It'll be ready soon. My wife's makin' us quite a treat; her all-famous stew! I tell ya, folks come from miles away just to get their hands on my wife's stew. Yum, it's some good stuff! Hurry up now, or it'll be gone 'fore ya get there!" John told them, rushing downstairs.

After washing up, the team sat down at the table in the dining room, hungrily awaiting the stew John promised would be delicious. They hadn't eaten for hours.

"Travis, be a gentleman and serve our guests for your ol' ma," Betty-Lou said, tapping his shoulder.

"Sure thing Mama," Travis replied, setting what appeared to be dog bowls in front of them.

What was inside also appeared to be canine... dog food.

The group stared at it in disgust, not daring to even give it a whiff, much less a taste.

"What's the matter? Ya'll have somethin' against stew?" Travis asked, putting a hand on his hip. "It's mighty tasty, you're missin' out."

"Uh... Don't be rude, Markus, try it," Valerie urged.

"Um... Alright..." Markus said hesitantly, glancing down at the mush in his bowl. Haphazardly and ever so reluctantly, he chewed and swallowed a spoonful, gagging and trying with all his might to keep it down. It tasted like dog food too...

"Uh... That was... different..." he said, wiping his mouth and pushing the bowl away. "I think I lost my appetite..."

Suddenly, Travis burst out laughing, hitting the floor as he laughed his head off. He was laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes, and everyone stared at him, confusion pasted on their faces.

"I-I-I can't believe you ate the dog's food! City slickers'll believe anything! Ah ha ha ha!" Travis exclaimed, still laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"TRAVIS!!" screamed John, smacking the boy in the head. "What's the matter with you?!" The infuriated father picked Travis up by the shirt, shaking him violently and inaudibly cursing at him.

"Oh, my!" Betty-Lou shrieked, removing the dog bowls from the table. "I am so, so sorry Mr. Vaughn!"

"I am too..." he said, turning partially green in the face.

"Here, here, let my stew wash out that awful taste," Betty-Lou said, placing more _appetizing_ bowls of stew in front of her guests. "I apologize, I'm afraid my son has no manners..."

The group all smiled at the scrumptious meals placed before them, each of them eager to try _this_ dish. They all did so, sighing as it went down their throats. By the end of the night, they had all filled themselves with Betty-Lou's stew, not leaving a drop left in the pot.

"I'm glad ya'll enjoyed that! I just knew you would!" she squealed with joy. "If ya'll want, I can make some more for supper tomorrow." Now, that was a meal they could all agree on.

"Markus, I'm mighty sorry for all that ruckus my son caused. He knows better. Lemme make it up to ya," John said, putting an arm around Markus' shoulder. "I'll take ya ridin' tomorrow, how's that sound?"

"Riding...?" _Giant Cheir?_

"Horses, a course," John replied, chuckling heartily. "What do ya say?"

"Um... okay, sure..." Markus said unsurely.

"Great! Set your alarm for 4:00am!" he said, slapping him on the back.

"Aha, okay..."

_4am? Oh jeez, what have I gotten myself into?_

**A/N: Alright, there you have it! Chapter one! This one was not all that thrilling, but it's an introduction so it's to be expected. I don't know if the Second Opinion characters would have still been at their former jobs, but I decided to make it happen to make this story more interesting. So, deal with it! Until next chapter! **


	2. A Rough First Morning

At 4am, John woke Markus as promised. He somehow knew Markus would "forget" to set his alarm, so he decided to wake him personally. That way, the others wouldn't be disturbed as they slept in for another few hours or so.

"Ugh..." groaned Markus, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Get up, partner, if we hurry we can make it in time to see the sunrise!" John whispered.

Though exhausted and not entirely in the mood to go horse-back riding, Markus obeyed and got dressed and ready to go.

"Here, Markus, let me explain everythin' to ya," John offered, leading him in the darkness over to the two horses. "This here is my horse, Twister. He's a good ol' boy, and he'll be sure to keep your horse in line. The horse you'll be ridin' is Terry's horse, Hurricane. Now, this is called the horn. Ya won't hafta worry 'bout usin' it, it's where the lasso goes. The whole thing is called the saddle. Ya put your feet in here." John pointed at each part of the saddle, explaining everything to Markus. The fatigued doctor only nodded half-heartedly in response.

"These are the reins, you hold onto them so ya don't fall off and so ya can guide your horse where ya want 'im to go. Ya tug left to go left, right to go right, ease tension to give horse more control, tighten tension to let 'im know who's boss. Ya pull back and say 'whoa' to stop 'im," John explained.

"Simple enough," Markus said.

"If ya want him to speed up, ya gently kick him in the sides. If ya want him to slow down, ya stop 'im then keep-a goin'," he told him. He went on to explain all the other rules of riding and warned him of other things he should be cautious of, such as spooking the horse. (Because Markus was inexperienced, he had considerably dumbed down the terminology and names so it wouldn't overwhelm him.)

"Alright, thanks, Mr. Black," he said in a hushed voice.

"Please, partner, call me John," he insisted, jumping onto Twister.

Markus smiled, knowing this would be easy. At least, John had _made_ it look easy. He grabbed onto the reins, putting his foot in the stirrup, and then tried to get on Hurricane without success. Instead he stumbled and got his ankle stuck in the stirrup, plopping down on the ground.

"Ohh..." Markus moaned, rubbing his head. John waited patiently.

Markus glared at the horse, daring it to move while his ankle was still trapped. He had definitely overestimated the height of the horse, as well as the level of difficulty for getting on it.

With a grunt, he got to his feet (he had freed his ankle in the struggling process) and tried once more, _carefully_ placing his foot in the stirrup. He grabbed hold of the cantle (which John had called the "horn") and reins this time, attempting futilely to hop onto Hurricane. He fumbled with the task before him several times, becoming more irritated as he failed again and again.

"Here, partner, let me help ya..." John murmured, sighing. Markus was stunned at his strength as the farmer effortlessly lifted him onto the saddle. "There ya go!"

"Thank you," Markus said, blushing. _How embarrassing..._

John hopped on Twister once more, clicking his tongue to get him going. Markus mimicked this, though did it incorrectly, sending a completely _different_ message to Hurricane.

"AHHHH!" Markus screamed as Hurricane took off running like mad.

"What in God's name?!" John exclaimed, scratching his head.

"Make i-it st-st-stop!" the terrified surgeon pled, his voice cracking each time the horse leapt up into the air.

"Markus, say whoa!" John called out, cupping hands over his mouth to amplify his instruction.

"Wh-wh-whoa! Whoa, boy!" Markus shouted, clinging to the horse's neck for dear life.

The horse obeyed, coming to an abrupt halt, sending Markus flying off.

"AHHHHH!" he screamed once more, landing softly in a pile of hay.

"Markus!" John cried, riding over to the haystack. "Partner, are ya okay?"

Markus appeared dazed and a bit shocked, but otherwise uninjured. He looked up at the farmer, nodding slowly as he got up and brushed the hay from his clothing.

"I'm mighty sorry..." John apologized, scratching the back of his neck. "I'll get Dolly instead..." With a single, high-pitched whistle, a kind-natured donkey trotted up, receiving a pat on the head for coming to her master's call.

Markus was given a set of reins to put on Dolly, and then he more easily hopped on her bare back. There weren't any saddles for donkeys, but it wasn't like they needed them. They were less skittish and at some times more reliable when it came to safety than horses, plus this particular donkey was very obedient. It was a perfect riding partner for Markus, who had nearly wet his pants while riding the untamed horse Hurricane. He certainly lived up to his name, that was for sure!

"Let's go, Dolly," he told her, giving her a gentle pat on the side. Dolly immediately trotted after Twister, slowly but surely catching up to him.

"Now, that's better, hmm?" John asked, looking down at Markus. The surgeon smiled slightly, nodding yes.

"Dolly's a good girl, aren't ya?" John rubbed the donkey between the ears, rousing a small "hee-haw" from the gentle creature.

"I like Dolly a lot more than Hurricane," Markus told the farmer. John only chucked in reply, shaking his head.

"Here we are," John declared as they reached the end of the trail and the top of the hill an hour later. The sun was just peeking over the mountaintops, illuminating the dark sky. The sun was a dark orange, burning into their eyes. It was painful to look at, yet it kept the men's eyes fixated on it. It was the most beautiful thing Markus had ever seen...

"Wow..." he crooned, squinting his eyes. "It's so... captivating."

"It is, partner. It's a sight any man would die to see every day, and I'm glad I've been given that very opportunity. If only it stayed that way, hmm? But, all good things don't last," John said, sighing.

Markus concurred, staring on. The two men watched the sunrise to its entirety, almost gasping at its beauty.

"Thank you for showing this to me, John," Markus thanked, nodding his head to the farmer.

"No problem, partner."

The two made their way back, now fully awake and ready to face the day. To kill time, the two men conversed with one another, running out of questions and conversation topics midway home. The silence was almost _painful_; Markus had to break it or he may go nuts. (Or was he already nuts?)

"So, uh... Have you ever seen 'Brokeback Mountain'?" he asked sheepishly. When he received an unsteady glare, he wished he could shrink away and take it back.

"I am a hard-working farmer with 4 sons and a dead-sexy wife. Do you _really_ think I would take time outta my life to watch 'Brokeback Mountain'? Hmm? No. Never," John replied coldly.

Markus could have shriveled up and died and been happy, but that was clearly not an option. He only nodded, feeling like a complete dirt-bag for asking. He looked on the bright-side; at least John hadn't ordered Dolly to buck him off!

"Hey, you!" Betty-Lou called out, rushing up to her husband with open arms. He grinned, hopping off Twister and taking her into his arms, picking her up and spinning around in the process.

"Hey, babe! How ya been? Did ya miss me?" John asked, a smile still spread across his face.

"Of course, I miss ya every second you're gone, honey!" she squealed, planting a kiss on her husband's awaiting lips.

"Where's everybody?" John asked, noticing the house appeared empty.

"Oh, most of 'em went next door to start their investigation," Betty-Lou replied. "Victor and Derek stayed behind, so did Cybil. They agreed to help me around the yard and the house, ain't that sweet?"

"Sweet as sugar, baby," he answered, turning towards the stack of unchopped firewood. "Ah, I have a job for ya Markus!"

"What is it...?" he asked, dreading the task he'd be faced with next.

"You're gonna learn to chop firewood, and I'm gonna teach ya! With four hands-a workin', we'll get done in no time!"

"Yeah... of course..." he replied quietly, already fearing what the outcome would be.

OooooooO

"Alright, you can feed the animals, you can gather chicken eggs, and you can milk Bessie," Betty-Lou assigned to Derek, Cybil, and Victor. Cybil and Derek didn't seem unhappy with their tasks, while Victor seemed outright disgusted.

"Alright ma'am," Cybil said, heading off to the chicken coop. Derek then followed Ben, who would be showing him where the food was and which types of food were to be brought where. Lastly, Victor was brought into the barn to be taught how to milk a cow by Forrest.

"Look, it's real easy, Mr. Victor," Forrest said, placing an empty bucket underneath Bessie. "See this pink thing? That's the cow's udder. Ya squeeze on the udders to get the milk out, okay?"

"I have to _touch_ that?" Victor asked, gritting his teeth in disgust.

"Yeah, 'course ya do," Forrest replied, nodding his head. "Now, milking may look easy, but it's hard work and it takes muscle. You grab onto an udder, you press upward and pull down in one quick movement, then ta-da! You have milk."

"Okay..." the researcher replied unsurely, kneeling down beside Bessie. Forrest explained it again, demonstrating the process. Victor nodded, taking it in.

"Just holler if ya need any help," Forrest said, walking off to carry out his other daily chores.

"Alright, Bessie, let's get this over with..." Victor muttered, grabbing hold of one of the udders. "Oh, sick..." Repeating the procedure Forrest had demonstrated, he attempted to milk the cow, failing miserably. He tried once more, and then again, still another time. All his tries ended in failure.

"Damnit!" he cursed, clenching his teeth in frustration. "Betty-Lou, I don't think there's any milk in this cow." Betty-Lou looked over, getting up from her other cow to investigate. She felt the udder, nodding approval.

"Nope, it's definitely full. Go on, lemme see how ya do it," she ordered, putting a hand on her hip. Victor sighed, trying again to produce milk from Bessie's udder.

"See?" he insisted there was no milk in the udder, because he had tried with all his might to get a drop of milk, but couldn't do even that much.

"Like this," Betty-Lou said gently, kneeling down beside the cow and effortlessly milking her. By the end of five minutes, she had filled the bucket half-full. Victor gaped at the woman, eyes wide in shock.

"That's all there is to it," Betty-Lou declared. She took hold of his arm, lifting his sleeve and feeling gingerly for muscles. She gasped. "Why, Victor, you have no muscles at all! No wonder you couldn't get any milk out! I'm sorry, next time I'll remember to give you an _easier_ job."

"Tch..." Victor crossed his arms in front of his chest, face flushing red in both embarrassment and fury. This produced a satisfied giggle from Betty-Lou.

OooooooO

Meanwhile, Derek easily completed his task of feeding all the animals. His job had been simple enough, but it was time-consuming either way. There were a lot of hungry animals to feed on the Black farm!

"Thank you, Derek," John said, patting him on the back. "I'm mighty pleased with your hard work; you've really helped us out." Behind him, Markus worked hard with the sun beating down on him as he chopped wood.

"Oh, it's no problem Mr. Black, I was just trying to help out," Derek replied.

"Well, I reckon there's nothing left for you to do, so why don't you head over next door and help your friends?"

"Oh, good idea, I'll do that." Derek then rushed off towards the neighbor's house, prepared for anything.

OooooooO

In the chicken coop, things weren't going as smoothly as planned. Each time Cybil even slightly approached a chicken nest, an angry hen would peck at her heels and squawk like its head had been chopped off.

"Come now, ladies, I'm just here to take some eggs for your master..." she told the hens as if they were human, reproaching the nest again. Yet another hen came up to her heels, pecking and clucking angrily.

"I see you won't give them up willingly..." she remarked, glaring down at the flock. "Then I have no choice but to take them by force!" Cybil leapt into action, snatching egg after egg swiftly and rapidly, taking care not to drop a single one. The hens all clucked a war-cry, hot on her heels and pecking away with rage. She kicked them away, sprinting down each row and snagging each precious, white egg the nests contained. By the end of her die-hard egg spree, Cybil had gathered 25 eggs and escaped the coop, infuriated hens chasing behind her.

She'd finally made some distance from the flock of murderous chickens, laying the eggs in the grass and gasping for breath. She stood doubled over in front of the house, eyes clenched shut tightly. She was in her 40's and wasn't as young as she used to be; the chicken-escape had been exhausting. She wasn't in shape for running that way either, which only added to the fatigue.

"Wow, you got all the eggs! Thank you, Cybil!" Betty-Lou sang, gathering up the pile of eggs in her apron. "You alright?"

"Yeah..." Cybil breathed, beginning to recover her breath. "Those are some pissed chickens..."

"Ha, that they are, that they are..." Betty-Lou chuckled, patting Cybil on the back for a job well done.

It had been a tiring first day on the Black farm, but it was not yet over. It hadn't even been half of their day, and already so much commotion had erupted. Luckily, for their hard work, the group would be rewarded with a well-cooked and well-deserved breakfast.


	3. PreBreakfast Chaos

**A/N: This particular chapter was inspired by Tristan the Dreamer's fan fiction "When Doctors Can't Leave Their Faces Alone", which is a wonderful story by the way. Go read it and come back! Ahem, anyway, thank you for inspiring me with that Tristan; let's get this next chapter a-rollin'! **

_Pre-Breakfast Chaos_

Everyone (excluding Markus, who was still chopping firewood) gathered in the dining room, taking a seat at the table. Their stomachs growled as they waited patiently for breakfast to be ready.

"AHHHH!!" Markus howled in pain, sending chills up their spines.

"Markus?!" Valerie shrieked as she stood up. Everyone else whispered amongst themselves, wondering what had taken place.

"Easy, easy everyone, I'll check it out, okay?" John assured them, stepping outside.

"Daddy!" Forrest yelled, an injured Markus slung over his and Travis' shoulders. "He's hurt, Daddy, the axe slipped out of his hand after a wood chip got 'im in the eye, then the axe knocked the wind outta 'im when it hit 'im in the chest!" (It had fortunately been the dull end.)

"It was funny, Pa," Travis added.

"Shut up, Travis, let's get 'im inside," John ordered, taking him into the house. "Betty-Lou, there's been an accident!" He laid Markus on the couch, instructing his sons to fetch a nuke-warm cloth and some other supplies, if necessary. Betty-Lou rushed in, fighting back laughs as she saw the pathetic sight that was Markus.

"Markus!" Val cried, kneeling beside him. "You idiot, what did you do?!"

"Axe slipped…" Markus muttered, tears pouring out of his eye where a large wood chip promptly remained lodged. Blood occasionally flowed out with those tears.

Everyone gathered round, asking if there was anything they could do to be of help. Val only shook her head.

"Elena, would you get my forceps?" Val asked, turning towards her. The nurse nodded, vanishing upstairs. She reappeared a few moments later, medical bag in hand. "Thanks, Elena." She dug through the bag, murmuring "Aha!" after discovering her forceps.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up!" Markus squeaked, backing away. "I don't like anyone or anything near my eyes!"

"Markus, I have to remove the wood chip or your eye will get infected!" Val interjected.

"Val, Val please! I don't like when people dig around in my eye socket!" he shouted, hitting her hand away.

"Okay, guys, you can help. Keep him still," Val ordered. In a flash, Sidney, Derek and John had him pinned. Markus squirmed violently, trying to worm his way out. Normally he would have remained calm, but not when it came to his sensitive eyes.

"Ahh…" Markus gasped, his eye clenching shut tighter and tighter, producing more tears.

"Sorry, Dr. Vaughn," Elena apologized, prying his eyelids apart. His eye struggled against Elena's attempt to keep it open, but did not succeed. "Almost done, Doctor."

"Got it!" Val shouted triumphantly, removing the final splinter. Markus blinked a few times and rubbed his stinging eye. (By this time the three men had released him.)

"_That_ was in my eye?" he asked, staring wide-eyed at the large wood chip along with its good-sized splinters in the tray.

"Yep," Val replied coolly, placing the forceps back in her bag.

"Thanks, Val…"

"Anytime, Markus," she replied with a smile. "Now, then…" She placed her hand lightly on his chest, compressing it gently.

"Ow!" he shrieked.

"Yeah, it's definitely bruised, if not worse," she said with a nod. "I need to get a better look." Markus had expected this, only sighing as he removed his shirt. Val examined his chest more closely, taking mental inventory.

"Yikes… That's bruised badly…" she remarked. "How much does this hurt?" She pressed on his chest once again, producing a grunt in response.

"Pretty bad…" he answered, gritting his teeth.

"Alright, Mr. Vaughn, you're confined to bed for the rest of the day. I think you may have bruised your sternum, the axe could have certainly hit you hard enough," she explained. "Doctor's orders."

"The rest of the day?! But, Val…!"

"No buts," she interrupted, bandaging up his chest with Elena's help. She accepted the warm rag from the boys, handing it to Markus. "Now, go upstairs and rest. Keep that rag on your chest to reduce the swelling." He sighed yet again, obeying her "request" as he considered it and ascending the stairs to rest for the remainder of the day.

"Golly," Travis broke the silence. "Even the chickens don't make that much racket when ya cut their heads off!"

**A/N: Markus, shirtless! Time to drool, fan-girls! Come, drool with Juicy! How I wish I could have been Val… (Sighs) Oh well! Let me know if you have any funny ideas so I can incorporate 'em! **


	4. NEVER Upset the Turkey

"I'm mighty sorry ya'll got sent here fer practically nothin'," John apologized as the group explained the neighbors' conditions. "At least ya'll'll get a nice, long vacation."

"Yeah…" Sidney murmured, poking at his breakfast.

It turned out that the fevers weren't anything as serious as the medical personnel in the countryside had reported. They were only result of mild heatstroke accompanied by a viral infection, nothing more. (Perhaps it was the flu? It didn't matter, mission accomplished!) The medical personnel of the West had never seen symptoms like the neighbors had experienced, so they were greatly alarmed and feared they were dying. Rest assured everything would blow over with bed rest and proper medication, the team had completed the mission.

"You guys must not get sick often," Victor mumbled, still stupefied that the doctors here were so inexperienced.

"Well, when ya live in a place where the air you're breathin's always fresh, it really lowers the risks for gettin' sick. We all live perty healthy in these parts," John replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Tch…" Victor couldn't imagine why anyone would want to live here, while John couldn't see why not. Though they accepted each other's choices and lifestyles, they pitied one another. It just goes to show you; one man's trash is another man's treasure.

OooooooO

Sidney sighed, rubbing his temples with one hand. How hectic the first half of the day had been! Unfortunately, it was not over yet and it was going to get worse before it got better.

He walked up the trail, kicking a rock into the pond. He felt that his life was passing him by and that he had let fond times slip through his hands…

"Where does time go…?" he asked the calmly blowing breeze, breathing in its fresh, spring aroma.

Not watching where he stepped, he tripped over a turkey chick, landing into the dirt with a _thud_.

"Damnit…" he cursed, getting up and brushing himself off. He took off his glasses and wiped them off with his shirt.

The little turkey chick cried loudly, alerting its mother it had been harmed. If there was one rule of the farm, it was to never, _ever_ mess with the mother turkey…

"Oh, my…" Sidney stared in horror at the huge, furious bird. She easily reached passed his waist, standing quite tall in feet. He couldn't have made a worse mistake.

The turkey sounded a war-gobble, taking chase. Sidney could only think to sprint away, not realizing that this turkey had experience with foolish human escapees. She could effortlessly keep up with any man, running around tirelessly as he slowly grew exhausted. She did the very same thing with Sidney, chasing him around the Black farm until he grew too tired to run.

"No!" he cried, knees buckling from under him. He collapsed in the grass, cowering before the pissed-off turkey.

He curled into a ball, hugging his head tightly. If nothing else, he wanted to avoid head trauma. The next moment, the infuriated turkey pecked the hell out of him, not letting up until she'd had her sweet, sweet revenge against the human that had harmed her chick.

"Sidney?" John asked, looking across the grass at the sight he beheld. The turkey appeared to be pecking away at a motionless mound of _something_.

"Call off Thanksgiving dinner!" Sidney shrieked. John gasped, rushing up to the scene of the attack. He battled the angry mother away, shooing her into the turkey coop.

"Are ya okay, Sidney?" John asked, tapping his shoulder.

"Yeah, besides the fact that the Terminator Chicken just _terminated_ me…" Sidney groaned.

"Here, partner," John offered, reaching his hand out to him. Sidney grabbed his extended hand and pulled himself up.

"Aw, damn…" Sidney whimpered, feeling a deep gash the turkey had dug into his side. "That hurts like hell!"

"You city slickers need to learn to avoid some creatures and to befriend others," John told him, shaking his head and chuckling. "Go in to Betty-Lou, she'll patch ya up. You can always ask yer friends, too."

"Yeah… I guess I will, thanks, John…" Sidney muttered, limping inside. "Note to self… never mess with the turkey…"


	5. Slumber Party Part One

**A/N: This was inspired by a review given by Tristan-the-Dreamer (she is so awesome!) so the credit for the idea goes to her! She gave me the idea for the guys to play a little bit of healthy truth-or-dare at a slumber party, and I couldn't resist but snatch up that offer. If it was an offer… Heh, anyway, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the brilliant and hilarious idea Tristan! Also, what Victor is dared to do is Tristan's idea as well. **

"Oww!" shrieked Sidney as Travis sewed the bloody gash in his side. Betty-Lou had been busy tending to Victor, who had stupidly kicked a baby chick and upset the father rooster. 

"_Help meeeee!" Victor screeched, running like hell from the angry rooster. _

Now, the rooster hadn't been as large as the turkey, but he was just as pissed. 

"_What in tarnation--!" Betty-Lou gasped, staring out at the field where the frightened researcher fled from the rooster. Victor let out another cry for help as he collapsed in the grass, cowering before the cock. _

"_Ow, ow, ow!" Victor screamed, shielding his eyes. The rooster seemed determined to poke them out, but when all else failed, he decided to peck on the scrawny man's exposed leg. After drilling in with his beak a good dozen times, the rooster let out a fierce "cock-a-doodle-doo!" and proceeded to fly onto Victor's head and tear out his hair with the use of his sharp talon-like feet. _

"_Go on, ya demon bird!" Betty-Lou roared, smacking the rooster with her apron. He squawked, running away in the other direction. "Don't ya'll city slickers know nothin'? Don't mess with the offspring of other critters and they won't bother ya none!" _

Victor groaned in the other room as Betty-Lou stitched up his leg and scalp, leaving Travis the job of caring for Sidney's wounds. 

"Ow! Damnit, be more careful!" Sidney growled, glaring at the smirking Travis. 

"If ya didn't mess with the turkey, I wouldn't hafta be doin' this now would I?" Travis retorted, sending the needle through the sensitive flesh for another stitch. After suturing the large gash he sutured the other lacerations caused by the turkey, also taking care to disinfect the area when finished. 

"Where'd you learn to sew? Ah!" Sidney asked, wincing in pain as the final stitch was tightened. 

"Mama taught me," Travis replied, putting all the supplies back into the first-aid kit. 

"Well, thank you." Sidney put his shirt back on and exited, dreading the lecture he'd receive from Cybil and the others. 

OooooooO

"Thanks for supper, babe," John said, giving Betty-Lou a little kiss on the cheek. 

"Anytime, darlin'." Betty-Lou began washing the dishes, summoning her sons to assist her. 

"Go on up to bed, now, ya hear? Ya'll've had a hell-of-a day," John remarked, sending the team up to bed. They obeyed, but wouldn't be ready for sleep just yet…

-Men's room, 3:00am-

The men all huddled in a tight circle in the middle of the floor, legs crossed. They leaned in towards Tyler, who held a flashlight beneath his chin to make himself appear more frightening in the dark room. They were about to begin a game of truth-or-dare. 

"Okay, Markus, truth or dare?" Tyler asked. 

"Truth."

"Have you ever… Kissed Valerie!" All the men gasped, turning towards Markus with gaping mouths, anxiously awaiting a response. 

"Heh, sorry, no I haven't," Markus replied, accepting the flashlight from Tyler. "Okay… Victor, truth or dare?" 

The researcher sighed, hardly believing he had agreed to engage in the childish game with the others. "Fine, fine, dare," he replied. 

Markus scratched his chin, thinking up a dare suitable for Victor. It had to be something pleasing, entertaining, and embarrassing for the victim. It also had to be something Victor would absolutely hate. 

"I dare you to…" everyone leaned in towards Markus. "…Skinny-dip in the pond!" The men gasped, all clapping and slapping Markus on the back. The look on Victor's face was absolutely _priceless_. 

"You want me to WHAT!" he roared, receiving angered shushes from the men. They all stood up, shoving Victor outside and urging him to accept the dare or suffer the consequences. 

Victor stood, shivering in his pajamas beside the pond. He watched the murky water ripple and glared down at his reflection beside the moon's. He turned back towards the men, all whispering and chuckling. 

"A dare's a dare, Niguel," Markus stated, crossing his arms in front of him. "Too scared?" 

"I'm not scared of anything!" Victor barked, dipping a toe in the water. "Ah damnit that's freaking freezing!" 

"Well, you can always turn down the dare and ride Tornado," Tyler added, jerking a thumb back towards the bull pin. They'd all heard about the bull Tornado; John said it was the fiercest, most vicious bull he'd ever seen. He was a bull even the bravest of men wouldn't dare ride, even John himself refused to ride him! No one had ever ridden the creature for more than a second before being launched off; if Victor didn't accept the dare, that'd be his consequence.

"C'mon, make your choice!" Derek called out. Victor growled, ever so reluctantly removing his clothing. He thought he had been cold before!

"It's c-cold!" he whimpered, shivering in the brisk wind. 

"Get in already!" Sidney shouted, becoming impatient. He wanted to be entertained as much as everyone else did. 

Victor reluctantly stepped into the water, naked and as cold as he had ever been. 

"I hate you guys!" he called to them, cursing as he swam in the murky water. They all cracked up, laughing their heads off at his misfortune. It was a pleasing sight, and knowing that he despised it made it all the more hilarious. 

Tyler whistled, riling more laughs. Victor turned red in the face, both out of embarrassment and of hate. 

"H-how f------ long do I have to s-swim!" Victor asked, teeth clattering together. When he did not receive a response, he looked back to see all the men rushing inside. "Hey w—ow!" He rubbed the back of his head, glaring back at the front of a small rowboat. When he glanced up at the angry land-owner in the boat, which shared property with the Blacks, he wished he could shrivel up and disappear. The pond belonged to Roger Crenshaw, and in his eyes, Victor was trespassing. 

"Mind tellin' me what the hell you're doing?" Roger asked, looming over the dumbstruck researcher. 

"Skinny-dipping, sir…" Victor groaned, sighing long and deep. "Just out for an early morning skinny-dip…" 


	6. Slumber Party Part Two

-Women's Room, 3:14am-

After painting each others' toe and fingernails, the girls decided it was time for a little bit of mischief. Elena had been dared to place a skunk in the men's room. She was against the idea, in fear of getting in trouble. However, Valerie and Cybil wanted to be entertained, so they pressed her to accept the dare and follow through.

"Don't be such a wimp, Elena," Val scolded. "It's not a big deal."

"Putting a skunk in their room _is_ a big deal!" she interjected.

"Shhh!" Cybil hissed. "We dared you, so do it!"

Now, the girls weren't as immature as the guys, but a game of truth or dare was always a treat. They didn't often get the opportunity to play games, so this was a rare luxury.

Elena was reluctant to do so, but she didn't want to be considered a wimp either. She was a nurse, and nurses had to be brave! Besides, it was just a little harmless fun, right?

"Alright, I'll do it," she agreed. She tiptoed down the stairs and out the backyard, Cybil and Valerie close behind. Skunks often hung around the chicken coop, though the reason wasn't clear. John guessed it was because the chickens were the only animals who wouldn't fuss over the intruder, while the other animals would attack the skunks or make a racket until they were driven away.

"There's one!" Elena stated, tiptoeing over to it. When she snatched it up it was quite calm and didn't refuse. For some reason it hadn't been spooked. That was, of course, because of Travis. It was Travis' "pet skunk", a.k.a. his practical joke partner. His name was Louis; he was a fair size, tamed skunk. He'd accompanied Travis in his jokes every April 1st for almost six years now. The skunk was sure it was his time to help out in another practical joke, so he obeyed and got heated up to do so.

"Alright, Skunky, do your work," she ordered, placing him on the ground. The skunk whiffed the room, noticing no one was present. He waddled around a little, searching for the victim(s).

"Where are they?" Val asked.

"That's strange, they're not here," Elena concurred.

-Black's Backyard, 3:27am- (The men had originally rushed inside, but they all met up again in the backyard.)

After apologizing graciously to Roger Crenshaw, Victor dried himself off, fully dressed himself, and scolded the men for ditching him. They only laughed, of course. However, it was Victor's turn to dare (or "truth") one of the others, and he gladly picked Derek.

"Okay, Derek, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Derek replied with a smirk.

"Okay..." Victor thought, scratching his chin. "Okay, Stiles, I dare you to put a piglet in the women's room."

"Piece of cake!" Derek scoffed, marching out to the pigpen. He glanced across the pen, searching for a piglet suitable for the job. Victor watched contently, arms folded across his chest. He shivered occasionally, still cold from his skinny-dipping.

"You'll do," Derek told one of the piglets, reaching in to pick it up. It squealed and ran to the back of the pen behind its siblings. "Damn!" Derek clenched his jaw and stepped in, the mud squishing beneath his slippers. He trudged through the mud, making his way across the pen to retrieve his escapee.

"Gotcha!" he yelled, lunging towards the piglet. He'd almost grabbed it when... SPLAT! He landed face first into the mud. The men burst into laughter, laughing until their stomachs and sides ached.

The piglet broke into a frenzy of squeals, awaking the other pigs. One of the potbelly pigs waddled over to Derek, who was groaning in the mud pool. The pig sniffed him, deciding to lay right on top of him. The pig must have been thinking: _What a comfy human this is!_

"Ah! Get it offa me get it off!" Derek shrieked, thrashing about beneath the massive pig. This produced more laughter.

"A piece of cake huh?! You look like such an idiot! Haha! This is _so_ amusing, I can't stand it! Ahahaha!" Victor cackled.

"Get...off!" he grunted, shoving the pig off. It squealed, snorting in his face afterward. The men laughed once more. Derek then stood up, brushed himself off, retrieved the piglet, and stormed inside. The men followed close behind, laughing all the way.

-Women's Room, 3:34am-

Derek had tracked much mud in the house; he knew Betty-Lou would be furious. He decided he'd clean up after the dare was complete. Stepping into the room, he discovered the women weren't present. That made his dare easier to accomplish.

He cooed in the piglet's ear, ordering it to make a big mess for the girls to clean up. He placed it on the floor and snuck out before the women arrived.

"I just hope he stays in the room," Elena whispered as she and the other two snuck out of the men's room and stepped into theirs. They had luckily missed running into them as the men made their way towards their room.

The men entered, unknowing of the skunk that lurked in the shadows. They huddled into a circle on the floor again, all whispering amongst themselves. They couldn't wait for the girls to find out what had been put in their room!

"Uh, Victor! Gross, dude, that's nasty!" Tyler whispered loudly, waving his hand in front of his nose.

"What are you complaining about?" Victor asked.

"Man, what did you eat?!" Tyler asked shrilly.

"Ugh..." Victor groaned, covering his nose. "That wasn't me, idiot..."

"Derek..." Tyler accused.

Derek copied Victor, covering his nose. "It wasn't me..."

"Skunk!" Sidney shrieked, leaping onto the bed. "Kill it, kill it!" The men all leapt to their feet, backing away from Louis, whose tail was partially raised.

"I told you it wasn't me!" Victor retorted.

"That's disgusting!" Tyler moaned.

"Kill it!!" Sidney pled. Sidney was deathly afraid of skunks. He would do absolutely anything humanly possible if it meant he didn't have to come into contact with one. He'd never told anyone of his fear of skunks, but it was clear he was terrified.

"Shoo!" Tyler exclaimed, kicking Louis in the rear. Big mistake. "Nooooo!" Louis raised his tail higher and sprayed Tyler with his vile body odor.

"Eeeek!" Elena shrieked as she stepped on the piglet and nearly tripped. The piglet squealed, running around wildly and knocking down everything from nightstands to suitcases. The girls all tried to calm him, talking gently and quietly. They also tried grabbing him, failing with that as well.

"What in the world is going on here?!" Betty-Lou and John asked in unison, though both of them were in separate rooms. Betty-Lou had checked on the women, while John had taken the men's room.

Betty-Lou discovered the women frozen in their tracks, the squealing piglet still running loose.

John found the men pressed against the wall with covered noses and mouths, Sidney cowering on the bed, and Tyler lying against the opposing wall with a disgusted and shameful expression spread across his face. Before him, stood Louis.

"How in the world did this little fella get in here?" Betty-Lou asked, scooping up the piglet in her arms.

"We don't know, Ma'am, we just came in here and there he was..." Valerie explained.

Betty-Lou shook her head, taking the little pig back to the pen.

"What in tarnation is _that_ doing in here?" John asked, pointing at the culprit, Louis.

"We have no idea," Markus stated.

"Get rid of it! Kill it, do something!" Sidney pled once more. John picked up the skunk by the scruff of the neck and took him outside, releasing him beside the pond. After he came back inside, he found that Betty-Lou and the women had joined them.

"Hmm," John mumbled, folding his arms in front of his chest. Betty-Lou put hands on both hips.

"Sorry I dared Stiles to..." Victor chucked slightly. "...To put a piglet in your room."

"And I'm sorry I put the skunk in yours. I also apologize for scaring you, Sidney," Elena apologized sincerely. Sidney only nodded in reply, still quite pale from the incident.

"Good. Are we quite ready for sleep, now?" Betty-Lou asked, raising an eyebrow. The group nodded. "Good. Sleep good, ya'll. I'll have a nice breakfast for ya in the mornin'." With that, Betty-Lou and John exited the room to resume their interrupted slumber. As for the others, they all drifted off to sleep, exhausted but glad that their slumber parties had been enjoyable. If they ever got the opportunity again, it would be one they'd snag in a heartbeat.


	7. Fiasco

**Thank you Tris! You're officially my editor now! Ha! **

**With that said, parts of this story were inspired/fixed by Tris, and she deserves credit! Thanks again!**

"This is delicious!" Markus declared, wolfing down Betty-Lou's well-prepared breakfast. She smiled and urged him to eat all he wanted. Val wished she hadn't suggested it, for Markus would gorge himself and get everyone else mad at him. She sighed, reminding him occasionally to slow down.

"Whatcha sewing?" Derek asked nosily, leaning over towards Betty-Lou.

"I'm makin' ya'll some hats, chaps, all that good ol' cowboy stuff!"

"Seriously?" Derek asked unsurely.

"'Course. Ya'll-er gonna look so adorable!"

As everyone finished breakfast, Betty-Lou completed her fabrications and shooed everyone from the kitchen; everyone but Derek.

"Since yer so eager to see your little outfit, you can get dressed first," she explained, handing him the clothing. "Here, lemme help ya. These here are the chaps; those go round your legs. The hat goes on your head. The shirt and pants... Well, I would certainly hope ya know where those go."

"Um... right. Ahem... I... can't get dressed with you... watching," he mumbled.

"Okay, okay, I'm not a-lookin'!" she said with a laugh, turning away.

He sighed with relief and changed into the cowboy outfit as ordered. He examined himself at a glance, amazed at how authentic it all was. Betty-Lou was quite skilled in fabricating clothing of the West.

"Eek!" Betty-Lou shrieked.

"What is it?!" Derek shouted.

"Yer... yer... _Adorable_!" she squealed, hugging him so tightly he couldn't breathe.

"Darlin', give the kid some air," John suggested firmly.

"Sorry, Sugar, I didn't mean to hurtcha!" she apologized as she patted him on the back. He coughed a couple of times, nodding it off. "Yer so precious!" She pinched his cheeks and giggled, receiving frightened stares from her sons.

After Derek was all set up, Betty-Lou isolated them one by one for them to change.

The men all received a buttoned shirt (white), a brown vest, leather chaps with blue-jeans, true cowboy hats, and snake-skin boots. The works.

The women on the other hand were given boots, jeans, hats, and red and white plaid shirts. Betty-Lou insisted that they tie the shirts in knots up the upper waist as many women wore them in these parts, but they were too modest to do so. Betty-Lou was not only upset that they wouldn't wear the outfits "properly"; their hair lengths were unimpressive as well. Only Elena's could be pulled back into two braids, whereas Cybil's and Val's were cut too short to do anything of the sort.

"With the exceptions of the girls and their 'little problems', they all look adorable! Don't you agree, Hon?" Betty-Lou asked John.

"Yep. Good job, Babe," he complimented.

"Thank you for the clothes, Ma'am," said Sidney.

"No problem, you buncha cuties!"

"Boys, get our guests the horses. You know which ones," John instructed his sons.

"Yessir. C'mon," Ben urged, leading his brothers to the barn.

"Yer takin' 'em on the trail already?" Betty-Lou queried.

"Sure am. They'll love it!"

"Be gentle, Hon, they're still only city slickers."

"I know."

John led the group out to the barn, matching each with the proper horse. Now, all these horses appeared nearly identical, all being brown with white splotches here and there, but personality wise... Completely different. Matching horse with rider was vital for these novices.

"Um... Mr. Black...?" Markus began sheepishly.

"Oh, right! Dolly!" John called, whistling loudly. Sure enough, up trotted the kind-natured donkey. "Good girl."

"Not. A. Word." Markus warned, hopping on Dolly. She hee-hawed lowly. The group all giggled inaudibly.

After the boys saddled up the horses, they gave the group a succinct riding tutorial and helped them atop the horses. They struggled as much with the seemingly easy task as Markus had.

"How'd you divide 'em up?" John inquired.

"Sidney's with Buck, Elena's with Coco, Val's with Slingshot, Derek's with KC, Cybil's with Yosemite, Victor's with Thunder, Tyler's with Whirlwind..." Ben answered.

"Okay, good. I gotta get Twister ready, so ya'll go on ahead to the trail without me. You boys follow behind 'em by foot, 'kay?"

"Yessir," the boys answered in unison.

John bade them a temporary farewell and headed for the barn, and in turn, the team rode off slowly but surely towards the path. Well, everyone but Val. Her horse was having too much fun eating hay to obey her instructions.

"Slingshot, c'mon! Let's go you stupid horse!" she yelled, tugging furiously at the reins. He went right on eating as if nothing happened.

"Hey! Can I have some assistance here?" she asked Travis.

"Oh, sure, whatcha need?" he asked.

"Need I say more?" she pointed down at the hay with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah. Here, I'll get 'em goin', hold tight," he said softly, approaching the back of the horse. "Yah, Slingshot!" He slapped him on the rear with an outstretched hand and off he ran!

"Travis you little a--AAAAAHHHHH!" she exclaimed as the out-of-control horse sped towards the group.

"Travis, what did you do?!" Terry asked his twin, staring wide-eyed at the apparently frightened stallion.

"You idiot!" Ben growled, smacking him upside the head. "Grab the lassos quick! He's bound to rile the horses, or worse; the cattle! If they get too crazy, we'll hafta bring 'em down!" Terry and Travis nodded, taking off towards the barn. Ben and Forrest could only think to take chase after Slingshot and do their best to calm him before he got more out of hand.

"You still reek of skunk," Derek complained, pinching his nose shut with his index finger and thumb. Betty-Lou had made him her special tomato-juice odor-treatment, but it was inefficient. He bathed in it all morning, a total of five times, but it still didn't mask the vile stench.

"Sorry..." Tyler muttered, sighing. They were still oblivious to Val's screaming in the background. They wouldn't be for long.

"AAAAHHHH!" Val shrieked as Slingshot charged directly towards Elena and Coco.

"Dr. Blay--_lock_!" Elena exclaimed, right as the horses collided and sent her flying from Coco's back.

Coco had been knocked right over in the impact; he thrashed and squirmed to gain his footing, much like a turtle tossed and turned to get off his shell and back on his little legs.

Valerie had narrowly escaped being thrown from Slingshot's back. Slingshot was an admirable horse indeed; his ability in races was unmatched by any other horse. He played everything dirty. Knocking over other horses, spooking the other contestants, swinging his mighty head right into a rider and tossing him off; he knew all the tricks. True, he'd been merely frightened this time, but he managed to keep Valerie on his back, screw up Coco's footing, _and_ throw Elena all in one movement.

Through all this, he had maintained his maximum velocity; he continued to do just that.

A silhouette suddenly cast over Tyler. He looked up, dreading what he'd see. He was just able to make out Elena's outline as she fell from the sky. All he could think to say was: "Oh, sh--" _CRASH_! Elena landed right on Whirlwind's rear, nearly catapulting Tyler off. The terrified horse whinnied, reared up on his hind legs, and took off straight for the pond at top speed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler and Elena screamed in unison, clinging to each other and the reins for dear life.

In the mean time, Sid, Derek, and Cybil battled to gain control of their uneasy horses. They whinnied and kicked up dirt with their hooves, ready to run at any given moment if the scene called for it. The cattle had become restless in all the commotion as well, thrusting themselves against the pens to escape. Ben tried to calm them without success.

Victor only looked on in disbelief. How stupid they were!

"Idi--_ots_!" he exclaimed shrilly as Thunder bucked him off from excitement. He landed right in the pond; barely escaping the wrath of Whirlwind's hooves as he, too, plunged into the water.

"Whoa! Whoa, Whirlwind!" Forrest yelled, trudging through murky pond over to them. "Steady, now..." He gently grabbed the reins, pulling the horse's face down to meet his. "Steady," he repeated, running his hand down the horse's velvety face. Whirlwind's low whinnies were hardly audible over Tyler and Elena's panting.

"Oh, no!" Ben shrieked in horror as Tornado charged at the fence with his pen mates and burst right through it. The heavy rains had weakened the fences considerably; it was only a matter of time before the reckless Tornado and the other cattle tore through it. "_Stampede_!"

The cattle stampeded straight for Derek, Sid, and Cybil, who were still trying to calm their horses. When they saw the cattle rapidly approaching, they went white in the face all at once. As for the horses... You can only imagine how incredibly horrified these skittish creatures were. They basically fell into a state of panic, circling round wildly.

"Damnit!" John shouted, riding up on Twister towards the stampeding cattle. "Yah!" He whipped the horses multiple times, driving them away from the cattle. In time the three were launched from their saddles, but at least they were safe from serious injury.

John watched helplessly as the cattle tore through his fields, destroying everything in their path. If he didn't stop them, they'd wreck his entire farm! And to make matters worse, they were charging straight on through to the un-harvested crops.

"Twister, yah!" he yelled, digging his spurs into his side. Twister neighed and obeyed his master, speeding up as he was ordered. John did his very best, but he was unable to lasso any of the escaping cattle. His target was Tornado, but he was kept in the middle of the group for protection. He'd never get him at this rate...

Mustering up all the courage he could, he and Twister dove into the current of cattle and lassoed the mighty Tornado. He thrashed violently, kicking the many creatures behind and in front of him, including Twister. The horse whinnied in fright and reared up, throwing John from the saddle.

After the group had regained their composure and shaken off the craziness, Forrest's shriek tore into their thoughts.

"Daddy's gonna get trampled!" Forrest screamed, pointing a crooked finger toward the herd. Everyone's blood froze in their veins. For all they knew, John was already dead. They prayed he wasn't as they stared dumbfounded into the distance...

"_Daddy_!" Ben shrieked. He raced towards the stampede, searching frantically for him. At last the cattle passed, leaving a trampled John to bite the dust. "Daddy!" Ben sprinted to his side and dropped down in the grass, taking John in his arms.

"B-Ben..." John whispered, staring blankly up at him. Ribs protruded from his chest and his neck was definitely sprained, if not broken. The fact that he was still alive was a miracle. However, it was unlikely he'd survive long at the rate blood was pouring out of him. He was going fast, bleeding away before Ben's eyes.

"_Help_!!"


	8. The Impossible

_The Impossible_

"Daddy! Please, oh, please, Dr. Stiles, ya gotta save him! He's my daddy! Ya just gotta save him!" Ben pled, tears pouring down his face.

"I'll do my best, okay? Sidney, would you please brief me on the operation?" Derek asked.

"Yes."

After hearing Ben's cry for help, Derek and they others rushed to his aid, feeling they were useless in trying to stop the stampede or help Val. (Markus stepped up to the plate to rescue Val, able to lead Dolly easier than they could the horses).

Cybil put John under anesthesia and Sidney briefed the operation, warning him that he could turn back now and not take the risk of getting blood on his hands.

"I'm a doctor, Sidney... I live to save people, and I have to try..."

"This is impossible; a trampled person rarely survives. I've heard of cases like his many times before, no victim ever makes it without major problems, save death," Sidney explained, expressing his firm reluctance for Derek to proceed. "This could scar you, Stiles; I don't want that to happen! Just..."

Derek clenched his jaw, shaking his head. "No. I can't. I can't just give up on him. I've got to try! Please, let me operate... Just let me try..."

"...I can't stop you. Begin the operation."

OooooooO

"Say 'whoa', Val!" Markus shouted.

"Whoa?!" Val queried.

"Yes, 'whoa'!"

"O-okay! WHOA!" Valerie shrieked, stopping Slingshot dead in his tracks. The horse panted heavily, head hanging towards the ground.

"Val! You okay?" Markus asked, riding Dolly up to her.

"Y-yeah... I'm okay..." she breathed.

She and Markus stared off towards the stampeding cattle, watching with pained eyes as they destroyed the crops. John had raved about how long it took to plant them all, not including the amount of time it took to harvest them. All that hard, painful work down the drain in less than five minutes... What a shame.

"It's terrible..." Val stated.

"It is..." Markus began, "and there's nothing we can do about it."

"…Markus?"

"Hmm?"

"What's everyone doing crowded over there?"

"I don't know. Let's check it out," Markus suggested, helping Val onto Dolly's back. They rode on over slowly, gasping as they set eyes upon John. They had only heard the muffled and faint screams, but they hadn't sensed the urgency of the situation. They didn't know how severe the injuries were… Until now.

"W-what happened to him?!" Val shrieked, covering her mouth in surprise.

"He was trampled by the cattle... He was trying to stop them..." Elena said lowly. Val glanced back at the Black family, who appeared quite distraught. _So that's what all the commotion was about…_ she thought.

"John," Betty-Lou whispered, dropping down beside him. She caressed his face, ran her hands through his hair. "John Arthur Black... You better live."

Derek worked quickly and accurately. Not one laceration, abrasion, or broken bone would be left when Derek was finished. It didn't appear the operation _would_ end soon, though.

"Anyone who isn't assisting Doctor Stiles in the operation, come with me," Markus stated.

"What are you doing, Markus?" Val queried.

"We're going to stop the cattle, Val," he answered.

"And how do you propose we do that?" she asked. "You're the one who said there was nothing we could do about it."

"Yeah, dude, that's suicide. You saw what happened to John," Tyler added.

"I know, I know what happened to John! But you guys have got to help me. I can't do this alone," Markus argued.

"We're a bunch of medical professionals. How the hell are we supposed to stop a herd of crazy, stupid beasts stampeding out of control?" asked Victor.

"Would all just let him finish?!" Sidney shouted. The group was silenced. "Please, continue, Dr. Vaughn."

"Well... With the boys' help, we can lasso them."

The group exchanged confused glances and then returned their eyes to Markus. The cynical doctor was now formulating a plan based off of optimism and hope. It was a hard concept for most of them to swallow.

"I had this dream. I was in a rodeo, and I was riding a giant Cheir--..." Val groaned and shook her head.

"Not _that_ again..." she whined.

Markus shut his eyes and took a deep breath. When his eyes reopened, he saw a frantic Derek attempting to resuscitate John.

"Damnit... Don't die on me!" Derek yelled.

"We're going to lose him…" Cybil remarked quietly.

"No! You promised you would save him!" Ben shrieked as he tugged at the surgeon's sleeves.

"I didn't promise anything, Ben!" Derek retorted. "I have to get a pulse…" With that, the doctor created a new incision and performed the heart massage, seeing as there was no defibrillator present.

"Will you listen to the rest of my plan, or not?" Markus asked, now that Derek had things under control. The group nodded half-heartedly. "I think we can make this work. Boys, do you have any more donkeys?"

"Yeah, sure we do," Forrest replied.

"Get all of them out here," he ordered. The boys looked at one another and shrugged. All but Ben left to carry out Markus' command. Ben felt remaining beside his mother was his only duty.

"Markus this is crazy!" Val fought.

"Would you just trust me?!" Markus growled. She fell silent immediately after.

Moments later, the boys came out with ten donkeys, all hee-hawing quietly in protest from being roused from their sleep.

Markus mounted Dolly and waited patiently while Travis and Terry paired each donkey with the proper rider. Meanwhile, Forrest rounded up the horses and led them back to the barn, returning with his, Travis', and Terry's horses.

The riders that would be joining Markus on this dangerous mission were as follows: Valerie Blaylock, Victor Niguel, Tyler Chase, and John's boys. The others had to stay behind and assist Derek in the life-saving operation.

"Wish us luck," said Markus.

"We do," Sidney replied. Markus nodded and rode off, followed by the farmer's boys and his three medical partners.

Thoughts raced through Markus' mind as they neared the cattle. _I must be mad,_ he thought. Four medical professionals from Caduceus and three teens from the Black family; just the seven of them, riding off towards a minimum of thirty stampeding beasts with nothing but lassos. The majority of them were riding donkeys, for Pete's sake!

Yes, Markus must have been crazy. There was no way they would be able to do anything. Seven against thirty had bad enough odds as it was… But four of those seven didn't know what they were doing.

Black Farm was doomed.


End file.
